I am officially on the disabled list. I’m sitting in my living room, mildly drugged up on Xanax, Oxy-sumpin’-or-other, and Percocet. This morning I had a vasectomy and now I’m forced to take it easy and recover for a few days. I’ve had such a good and consistent winter of training, that it seems odd to not be allowed to ride for a week. But, better to get it over with now than in the middle of the season.
Right now, I can’t really feel any discomfort. I’m not sure if it hasn’t set in yet or whether the pain killers are just doing their job.
My wife, Chrissy, kept asking me whether I was nervous or anxious about getting it done and I kept telling her “no”, but that wasn’t completely true. There was the bazaar feeling of the pre-surgery shave I gave myself. I had to clear the forest to to let some sunlight in for the doc. Also, I was a little uncomfortable with the idea of a room full of doctors and nurses staring at my naughty bits. You know that thing down there sometimes has a mind of it’s own. What if it decided to give the doctor a proper salute during the middle of the surgery?
But, what probably filled me with the most anxiety was the thought of sitting on my bike seat again. It’s hard to imagine a surgery that could be in a worse place for a cyclist. Nothing like sitting on your incision for a bumpy two-hour ride through the woods. How many days will it take to heal? If I go to soon will it just be painful or will I be in danger of screwing things up in the ol’ the twigs and berries. I’m told that it will probably be a week before I can attempt to ride again, but it could be more. At that point, I’m supposed to ease back into it. Should I just ride standing up?
Doing this is something that has been on my mind for a while. I love my kids and I’ve been blessed with two boys who I couldn’t be more proud of. They are healthy, active, creative and smart, and I feel like I really won the lottery. That being said, I want to focus on quality, not quantity in my parenting. I’ll get to spend a little more time with each kid if I only have two. I had one brother and my wife had one sister, so maybe having two just feels natural to us.
This vasectomy is actually a good long-term investment for my cycling as well. With fewer kids under my roof I will have more time to ride as they get into school and want to spend more time with friends. I’ll be left at home with my bike more often. Furthermore, with only two kids, I have less that I need to save for college educations, which means that I will have more money in the bike budget. Now that the youngest is out of diapers, I can finally start saving for a fat bike …or a singlespeed …or a cyclocross bike ….or a cruiser. You get the picture.
Even though I am stuck in my living room, that doesn’t mean I can’t make progress towards my cycling goals. There is a lot I can do. I can dream about my bike tour across Ohio in May and figure out the logistics. I can plan my approach to being a captain for Breakaway Quickdirt mountain bike race team. I can browse the web for cool races and events and tweak my summer schedule a little. And pretty soon, if I keep myself distracted, it’ll be time to get back on the bike again.
…hopefully without fear of my saddle.
Have you had a vasectomy? How did it affect your cycling? Did it take a while to feel back to normal? What surgery have you had that took you off the trails for a while?
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